November 08, 2005

I Think I Like Riddles Better. Don't You?.

What's In A Name?
A young man called directory assistance. "Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona."
"There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix," the operator replied. "Do you have a street name?"
The young man hesitated and then said, "Well most people call me Ice Man..."
___________

Explosively Funny!
Joe and Dave are hunting when Dave keels over. Frantic, Joe dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What do I do?"
A Soothing voice at the other end says, "Don't worry, I can help. First, Let's make sure he's really dead."
After a brief silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Joe comes back to the phone.
"Okay," he says nervously to the operator. "What do I do next?"
___________

Live And Learn
Psychiarty students were in their Emotional Extremes class. "Let's set some parameters," the professor said. "what's the opposite of joy?" he asked one student. "Sadness," he replied.
The opposite of depression?" he asked another student.
"Elation," He replied.
"The opposite of woe?" the professor asked a young woman from Texas.
The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddyup."
___________

Swimming With Sharks
What do you get when you cross a librarian and a lawyer?
All the information you want, except you can't understand it.

What's wrong with lawyer jokes?
Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else seems to think that they're jokes.
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What's Black And White And...
A penguin walks into a bar goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, "Have you seen my brother?" The bartender says "I don't know. What does he look like?"

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?" "Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."

___________

Humor In Uniform
I was playing cars on my bunk by myself when a young private appeared. "Excuse me," he finally asked, as he tried to follow the game. "What are you playing?" "Solitaire," I replied. "Oh," he said. "I didn't know you could play that without a computer."
___________

Blondes Do Have More Fun!

"There 's a blonde walking along the side of the river. All of a sudden she sees a blonde on the other side and she calls out, "Hey, do you know how to get to the other side?" And the blonde says, "You ARE on the other side."

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2 Comments:

Blogger Gloria said...

Did anyone notice that these are all the dumbest jokes that I could find? (besides you Michael)

November 11, 2005 8:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Yah!
Sort of.
Maybe?

~CJ

November 15, 2005 11:20 AM  

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